Sabotaging your event for the greater good of your next one.
Our team of selectively trained technicians and misaligned priorities ensures that every request is misunderstood, misquoted, or mysteriously forgotten until your event is already underway. Need audio support? We’ll bring lighting. Need lighting? We’ll bring speakers — from 2004. Everything we do is designed to inspire confusion, regret, and a newfound appreciation for professional vendors. We don’t just miss the mark — we turn missing it into an art form.
Deliberate dysfunction. Measurable regret. Lasting impact.
We don’t believe in surprises — unless they’re catastrophic. You can count on us to be exactly as underprepared as you feared. That’s consistency you can scream at.
We boldly deliver below expectations, pushing the limits of how little one can do with rented gear and duct tape. Mediocrity isn’t our ceiling — it’s our starting point.
When things go wrong (they will), our team is trained in advanced finger-pointing, evasive jargon, and the timeless strategy of standing silently near a power strip looking confused. Blame is a river — we help you swim in it.
We craft chaos with care. Every tangled cable, missing adapter, and delayed cue is placed with surgical precision to create moments your audience will never forget — even if they try.
Megan has 18 years of experience in corporate evasion and PowerPoint damage control. She specializes in saying “This wasn’t in the brief” while making direct eye contact with your client. Known for her ability to deflect blame across departments and fabricate just enough jargon to escape the venue before questions start.
Mikey doesn’t believe in decibels — only vibes. Armed with two working ears (barely), a warehouse full of unlabeled gear, and a playlist of deep house from 2012, he brings volume, distortion, and panic to every show. His motto: “If it feeds back, it’s working.
Zack once connected a laptop to a projector — and it worked, by accident. Now he’s our Head of Visuals. He claims to know the difference between HDMI and DisplayPort (he does not). Famous for asking “Is it the cable?” after 45 minutes of tech delay.
Karoline coordinates our ever-changing crew of freelancers, interns, and random cousins. She thrives in chaos, communicates exclusively via walkie mumble, and believes a call sheet is just a loose suggestion. You’ll find her behind the loading dock smoking, nodding at no one in particular.
Jenna brings theatre kid energy to corporate events. She calls cues with confidence, even when they’re wrong, and thrives under pressure — which she creates. Her scripts are handwritten, half-missing, and frequently on napkins. Once opened a live show by yelling “Wait, where are we?
Ethan doesn’t light events — he curates emotional confusion. Obsessed with smoke machines, RGB flicker, and strobe settings marked “unsafe,” he brings maximum chaos to minimal setups. He hasn’t seen a lighting plot since 2016 and insists “the lights know where to go.”